11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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