We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
