new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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