White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The air was thick with penises
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
