Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
