So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
