hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
