Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
