you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
