We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
