two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
