Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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