I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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