you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
