My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
