Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
