He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
