in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
