call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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