Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
