Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
