whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
