no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
