a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
