and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
