Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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