He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
