I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Operation Purity has been aborted
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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