Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
