I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
