love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
