the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
