we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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