Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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