life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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