Do you still have your period?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
