All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
