yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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