You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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