By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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