I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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