I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sext me about skeletons
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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