i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
