You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
