Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
