goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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