you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
