Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
