the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
