Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Someone signed my nipple.
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