Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
